Starting Nursery: A Gentle Guide for You and Your Little One

Starting nursery is one of those parenting milestones that feels equal parts exciting and emotional. Whether your child is a cuddly baby or a curious toddler, saying goodbye at the nursery gate (even if just for a few hours) can tug at your heartstrings.

But with the right preparation and mindset, the transition can be a positive step for the whole family. In this guide, we’ll walk through what to expect, how to ease the change, and ways to help both you and your child feel confident on that first big day.

Let’s talk about you first

Before we get into packing bags or preparing routines, take a moment to acknowledge how you’re feeling. Starting nursery isn’t just a shift for your little one, it’s a big change for you, too.

It’s completely normal to feel:

• A little wobbly inside (even if you’re smiling on the outside)
• Guilty for feeling excited about having a moment to yourself
• Anxious about how your child will settle
• All of the above… and more

However you feel, it’s valid. Nursery isn’t a sign you’re stepping back from parenting, it’s a new way to support your child’s growth, confidence, and independence.

Preparing your child for nursery life

Whether your child is used to being with just you or already has some experience with other caregivers, there are gentle ways to ease them into the new routine:

1. Start talking about it (even if they’re very young)

Mention nursery in everyday conversations: “Soon you’ll play with new toys and friends at nursery,” or “I wonder if they’ll have a teddy like yours there.”

For toddlers, picture books and simple role play can help bring the idea to life.

2. Practise little moments of separation

If your child hasn’t spent much time away from you, start with short periods, like being with a grandparent, friend, or babysitter while you step out. This helps build their trust that you’ll always come back.

3. Visit the setting together

Most nurseries offer settling-in sessions. Treat them like mini adventures: Explore the toys, meet the staff, and stay nearby at first. This builds familiarity and trust.

A few practical things that really help when starting nursery

🧸 Pack something comforting

A familiar toy, blanket or even a photo of your family can help bridge the gap between home and nursery.

⏰ Shift the routine gently

Ask about the nursery’s daily rhythm and try aligning parts of your home routine (like nap or mealtimes) in the week before starting.

🗣️ Use the key person’s name

Children find comfort in familiarity. Drop their key worker’s name into conversations, e.g., “Debbie might read a story with you today!”

The first day: what to expect (and how to handle it)

💬 Say goodbye (properly!)

It’s so tempting to sneak off while they’re distracted, but a clear, loving goodbye builds trust. A short goodbye ritual (like a hug, a phrase, or a kiss on the hand) can make it feel safer for them.

💌 Don’t be afraid to check in

Call the nursery half an hour later if you’re worried, it’s totally normal and most parents do. Chances are, they’ll already be happily playing.

💕 Focus on the positives

Remind yourself of all the good things: new friends, exciting activities, and the confidence your child will gain.

What if they struggle to settle?

Some children adapt instantly. Others need more time. Regression is common, a child who’s been happily waving goodbye may suddenly start crying again a few weeks in. That is perfectly normal.

Keep your routines predictable, offer extra cuddles, and speak positively about nursery even if they’re resisting. Over time, confidence grows.

And finally… be kind to yourself

You’re navigating a big change, and doing it with love. Whether you’re heading back to work, taking a breather, or making time for something new, you’re making thoughtful decisions for your child’s future.

Starting nursery might be emotional, but it’s also a step toward independence, resilience, and growth, for them and you.

Useful Resources

https://www.nct.org.uk/information/life-parent/support-change/settling-your-baby-childcare
https://www.busybeeschildcare.co.uk/blog/tips-for-preparing-for-nursery

Still deciding whether nursery is the right option? Read our guide on the pros and cons of nursery here.